Bare Bum at the Gun Club
/Hello everyone!
Apologies for neglecting this Mommy Blog, I have been Mommying. Also, if we are being honest, I started a post where I catalogue all of my jackets, and the post became so large that it frightened me, and then three people gave me NEW JACKETS before I had FINISHED the POST because apparently my wardrobe is a HYDRA of JACKETS and the entire concept of blogging became a JACKET LADEN SPECTRE and I am still not sure if I will ever get it done.
Please don’t give me any more jackets.
I have 52.
IF YOUR MOMMY BLOG DOESN’T INCLUDE A FULL TAXONOMY OF COATS WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING
This post is just an update on the Milkmeister! If you’re a heartless wretch who cares not for my incredible baby, stop reading now. It has very few images*, and for that I am sorry but I just wanted to get something published.
Don’t worry, there are still lots of words for you to “enjoy.”
*one and you’ve already seen it, it had jackets in
In Milkmeister news, she is now EIGHT MONTHS OLD and can do many new things, like:
Waving!
Clapping!
Crawling! With more determination than style, but whatever. Same.
Rolling over on the changing table while I’m trying to put her nappy on!
That, but in the back seat of the ute at the gun club!
Shuffling gleefully backwards!
Shuffling gleefully backwards until her tiny baby bum is hanging out the door of the ute!
At the gun club!
Not being banned from the gun club for indecency!
I wish I had a time machine so I could travel back to the early 2000s and start an emo band called “bare bum at the gun club”.
In some way, haven’t we all had a bare bum at the gun club?
Hmm.
Back to Milkmeister things! She is also…
Removing her hat! Which is a skill I could do without.
Eating solid foods!
Eating with a spoon!
As well as normal food we get the packet purees - not the ones with meat in, I got one of those once and MM tried it and looked BETRAYED and then I tried it and had to apologise - but the fruit and vege ones.
Jamming the nozzle of a puree packet into her mouth and waiting for you to squeeze puree directly into her gaping maw!
At the gun club!
Not being banned from the gun club for wanton gluttony!
Politely listening to her mother try and explain away her gun club gluttony to an audience of 70yo men!
I wish I had a time machine so I could travel back to the early 2000s and start an emo band called “gun club baby glutton.”
In some way, aren’t we all a gun club baby glutton?
Pulling herself up to a standing position!
Once standing, with support, taking tiny baby steps to move herself along!
In the bath!
Wait, what? In the bath?
Milkmeister, no, that’s dangerous! Get down. Oh, you do not want to get down? Hmm. OK. I suppose I’ll just keep an ey- Milkmeister, why are you getting upset? Oh. You are stuck. I will help you get unstuck. Look, you will only get unstuck if you sit down. Don’t shout at me in the bath!
The other day I heard her dad say “Milkmeister, you are very brave and strong, but I’m going to sit you down now or you’ll bonk your head on the tap.” Then there was a pause, followed by the unmistakeable sound of a baby who is ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS that she wasn’t allowed to bonk her head on the tap.
I wish I had a time machine so I could travel back to the early 2000s and start an emo band called “walking in the bath (tap bonk).”
All in all, she’s a great baby; cheerful and curious and stubborn and determined. The other day she learned that she could pull her little fruit toys in half (they’ve got velcro in the middle and are designed for that sort of thing) and spent two days trying to pull everything she touched in half. She is going to be an absolutely ungovernable toddler.
Sincere apologies to those of you who expect more from this blog, but also haha, suckers! You should know better by now.
Back soon with more fascinating content like I MADE A GARDEN and I WENT TO THE SUPERMARKET.
And perhaps even the one about the jackets.