A Supermarket Misadventure
/I had an unusual interaction at the supermarket today, and so I thought I would tell you about it*.
This was actually my second Unusual Supermarket Interaction (USI) of the week but the first one was very minor** and not worth its own post, and the more that I think about it I’m not sure the second one is either but WE’RE UNDERWAY NOW.
*And to think some people say that blogs have no value to society!
**I saw a middle-aged woman who didn’t want to wear a face mask pull the top of her turtleneck up over her nose and get told off by staff and I found this unreasonably humorous.
Anyway, I was at the supermarket picking up some things on my way home, including some dog roll, for my dog, Rolls. Do you know him? Here he is.
TRUE STORY: OUR BAR TAB AT THE LOCAL PUB IS ALWAYS UNDER ‘ROLAND’ BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW MY NAME BUT THEY KNOW HIS.
FOUND THIS OUT WHEN I WENT TO PAY AND THEY SAID 'OH! ROLAND’S TAB.’
SOMETIMES THEY CALL HIM RONALD BUT HE DOESN’T SEEM TO MIND.
Quick side story: recently Rolls had some sort of allergy and was prescribed hayfever pills by the vet. The vet didn’t have the pills in stock, so he suggested that I pick them up at the pharmacy across the road, because they were the same sort of hayfever pills people take, just at a lower dosage. It was not at all embarrassing to fill that prescription.
Anyway, you know how the pharmacy normally puts “Ms Alice Mullord” on the packet?
Well…
RUDE THAT THEY DID NOT SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT.
Anyway, back to the story: I was buying dog roll. Or rather, I was attempting to buy it. (Good story so far, isn’t it?)
I was in a supermarket that wasn’t my Home Supermarket and so I didn’t know where anything was.
(Side note - it would be a great addition to supermarkets if you could just stand in an aisle and yell the name of whatever it is you’re looking for. I don’t like asking people and I don’t like wandering the aisles but I do like the idea of stopping in my tracks and shouting “EGGS” at the top of my lungs, and hearing a faint “AISLE FIVE JUST PAST THE BREAD” from somewhere else in the store. It wouldn’t even have to be a supermarket employee, it could just be someone who happened to be by the eggs.)
IN CASE YOU AREN’T SURE WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR, ALTHOUGH NOW THAT I’VE SEEN THIS PICTURE I’M NOT SURE EITHER.
I’d spent five minutes - which is at least 3 hours in supermarket years - wandering around this supermarket and I couldn’t find the dog roll.
I asked a supermarket person where the dog roll was, and she gestured behind her to a shelf of bread rolls.
IN HINDSIGHT, THE BAKERY SECTION WAS NOT THE BEST PLACE TO ASK MY QUESTION.
I said, “Um, no, sorry, dog roll. For a dog.”
She said, cheerfully: “Sometimes we have cheese rolls, but not today!”
what
I said “Dog… roll?” and made the general shape and size of a dog roll with my hands, being mindful to not accidentally make an obscene gesture, because I wasn’t sure what else to do at this point.
BESIDES BARKING, WHICH SEEMED KIND OF RUDE.
ALSO YOU CANNOT IMAGINE MY DELIGHT THAT ALL THE STOCK IMAGES FOR “PERSON BARKING” ARE PRETTY MUCH THIS
This completely stymied my supermarket friend.
She asked a colleague, who promptly said: “Ah! French sticks are at the front by the checkout.”
Then New French Stick Supermarket Friend glared at Original Cheerful No Cheese Rolls Today Friend and said, “she wanted a LONG ROLL.”
BUT I DIDN’T!
I wish this story had a hilarious ending where I did a dog impression in the bakery section, or a happy ending where I found the dog roll, but actually I just gave up and went home and gave Roland a piece of bread.
WHEN ALL HE REALLY WANTED WAS A BEER.